Ray – TACT Foster Carer since 2009
East Midlands

My life has always been very child focused. I have a 19-year-old son with my wife Anne who works in childcare, two older girls from my previous marriage and four grandchildren. My brother and sister-in-law fostered with TACT for 23 years before they retired this year and we often spent time with children in their care. As we had a spare bedroom in our house, we decided that we would love to give a child a chance of a family life, with support and love, and so ten years ago i became a foster dad.

Shortly after we were approved to foster, we received a phone call regarding a young man from Afghanistan who was at a police station after being found on a lorry. We only had 15 minutes notice before a social worker brought him to our house so we quickly put fresh bedding on and waited. To say we were nervous would be an understatement.

This boy came to our house with only a plastic bag containing a few clothes given to him by the police, and he had no knowledge of English. We did our best to make sure his needs ere met and we learnt a lot very quickly. First, we went to our local mosque where we found help and advice from some lovely people. Then we visited a halal shop where we received tips on what he could and could not eat. Finding him a school was particularly difficult as not many had places available, and the fact that he didn’t speak or write much English made it even more complicated.

However, I did my best and phoned and chased people until a place was found. When children are in my care, I will always do all I can to support them and get them the best outcomes possible. As three out of four of the children we have cared for were unaccompanied asylum seekers, being their foster carers meant taking them to legal meetings and supporting them throughout intense and stressful times. The list of processes we have had to undertake when a child moves in with us could be very long, but the way I look at it is just the same as with any other family member. You fight for them to get what they need.

Being a foster carer means everything to me. I have loved helping the children in my care, supporting them and watching them gain confidence and achieve great things at school. This doesn’t end when the young person leaves our house. We are still in touch with all our former foster sons. They know that we are still here for them and they are welcome to pop in anytime.

I am proud to say all the boys are doing well in life. Our first foster son has his own family now and he still calls us mum and dad. The second one is working really hard but makes sure to find time to come visit us. Our third son received his leave to remain status last year and he is now studying for a degree at university.

Our own son is now 19, and to him the boys are just like family. I still remember when our first foster child arrived at the house, the two boys spent the evening playing on a game console. No talking was needed, they were communicating as children do.

I would recommend to anyone who is considering fostering not to overthink it and just go for it. And when you get that phone call about a child that might be placed with you don’t listen only to negatives. All children are different but they have one thing in common – they all need support and a family.

Read more carer stories here.

Source: 
https://www.tactcare.org.uk/
​

Young People at Heart is a not-for-profit Independent Foster-Care Agency (IFA) that’s expanding! At Young People at Heart outcomes for young people are paramount for the organisation and everyone associated with it. Quite simply, everything the organisation does has the interests of young people at heart and that’s the way we want it to stay. On that basis the people who work with us have to have exactly the same ethos. Today we’d like to introduce you to one of our latest recruits Estelle Cashin, our Placements Officer.   

My first experience of an IFA was in the late 1990’s when I got my first job at a small IFA local to where I lived. It had a real family feel to it and it was a great place to work. I worked as a Receptionist/Administrator before being lured back to my previous employer and then starting a family. 

I had grown up in a family who fostered and was one of four myself. As a result I have some fantastic memories of all of us piling into the car and going to see my grandparents in Great Yarmouth, sometimes as many as seven children and our dog. I always admired my parents for fostering and the children and young people we looked after were very much a part of our family. I think having this experience as a child has helped me to grow as a person.   

After having my second child I went back to the local IFA and worked a few hours a week populating their new database (mostly I went in on a Friday afternoon to entertain the troops whilst doing the odd bit of data input!) and looked on, longingly, while someone else fulfilled my dream job, Placements Officer. I continued to be a full time mum of two and went on to have two more children.  

When my youngest was at school I had a conversation with a friend, who worked at the agency, who told me that a Training Administrator position was about to become available. I applied and got the job.  

During my working life I have had a handful of bosses who’ve had a positive impact on me and, the way I work. Dale Cooper, my new boss, was one of these and I am thankful that, although no longer my boss, he is now my friend. It was during my time working with Dale, in the Training Administration role, that I had an opportunity to help, and cover for, Sarah the Placements Officer. I was in my element as I had finally got to be, albeit in an adhoc way, a Placements Officer. Over time the role grew and I was given the opportunity to be the full time Placements Officer. Seven years later I still love my job. 

Not long after being given the role full time the agency we worked for was sold to an investment company, who went on to purchase a number of different fostering agencies. The area and number of agencies I covered grew and I had a team of seven to manage. Although incredibly proud of what I achieved while I was there (the number of children I had found fantastic carers for, carers who gave the young people placed the lives they deserved) I slowly started to feel that the role was becoming less about the children and the carers and more about how many children could be placed. I always really wanted to make a difference and I didn’t feel I was anymore. So I made one of the toughest decisions I have ever made, to leave the organisation (where I’d worked for years and where I had met some incredible people).

I reached out to Dave Bailey and Gary Cox at Young People at Heart because I had worked with them before and admired what Young People at Heart stood for. So here I am, working for a not for profit organisation where everyone’s opinion, and feelings, matter. A place where I feel listened to, valued and am encouraged to put the young people we work with at the heart of everything I do. I meet the children I place and spend time talking to the carers on the phone so I can match them better by understanding their needs (which makes the placement more sustainable). I’m doing what I love most and making a difference again! But I never forget that I couldn’t do this job without the foster carers and their families. They are the people who volunteer to care for the looked-after children and young people who need them. The people whose children have to share everything including the time they have with their parents. The people who are in extremely short supply because each and every year the number of referrals increases. If you’d like to foster with young people at heart then give me a call. 

Source:
https://www.youngpeopleatheart.org

​The Together Trust’s very own Wendy Coomer has been awarded an MBE in the Queen’s Birthday 2019 Honours List. 

Wendy has volunteered for over 22 years in various governance roles, supporting the Together Trust in its vision to see people thrive because they are valued within their communities. During this time, she was chairman of the board of trustees for five years until 2018. Wendy has been awarded her MBE for services to young people in Cheshire. 

Wendy first became involved with the Together Trust as a manager in one of the charity’s special schools in Stockport. In 2012, she was chairman of Bridge College’s governing body when it moved to state of the art facilities in East Manchester, and was a crucial part of the team who lead the campaign to move the charity’s specialist further education college to Manchester. Today Bridge College supports over 80 young people with profound learning difficulties and complex health needs.

The Fostering Network's annual 'Foster Care Fortnight' is taking place across the UK and the 2019 theme is #ChangeAFuture

We are proud supporters of the campaign, as an agency member of The Fostering Network, and an advocate for promoting foster care across the country. There are thousands of children and young people in need of a home, and we are proud to be part of a network that aspires to recruit and train new foster carers to look after them. 

We've been sharing some real stories and testimonials during the campaign, including from our staff, foster carers and even young people that have been looked after at Team Fostering. 

We know that, for those considering fostering, there are often unanswered questions about types of fostering and how these work, and we thought we'd share some information on some of the types of fostering that our agency offers:

Short Term Fostering
Short Term Fostering is needed when a Local Authority Care Plan identifies that a child or young person needs to be looked after short term, rather than until they reach independence at 18. There is no time limit set for short term fostering placements, as they will continue for as long as is needed. When arranging Short Term Fostering Placements we work hard to ensure that children or young people placed with your family are well-suited, and you receive an abundance of support from our agency. You can read more about our support package by clicking here.

In some cases, if it is identified that the foster carer/s and the child or young person are suitably matched, and both parties are happy with the decision, the fostering may become a long term fostering placement. If this were to happen there would be an assessment to ensure the change to long term was appropriate.

Long Term Fostering
Long Term Fostering provides substitute care when a child or young person is unable to return to their birth family and are unlikely to be adopted. Long Term Placements can be planned in advance or might be the result of a Short Term Placement converting to longer term. 

In this case, the foster carer will care for the child or young person permanently until they move onto independence.

All of our foster carers are offered the support, training, fees and allowances that allows them to look after young people in their care, and this does not lessen with long term fostering. For more information on the support we offer, click here.

Short Break Care
We recruit foster carers who are able to offer short break care for children and young people, which enables their main foster carer to take short breaks. When arranging short break care, we try to match the children with the same short break carers each time so that they get to know the family and look forward to their time away. 

Parent and Child Fostering
This is where a young (often teenage) parent and child live with a foster carer until the Local Authority feel that they are able to manage on their own or with alternative support. The foster carer in this instance would look after the parent, protect the parent's child and work with the Local Authority's plan for both. This is an alternative to placing young parents in residential units and without this support, relationships can often break down and lead to separation of the parent from the child.

Are there eligibility criteria for fostering?
To become a foster carer with Team Fostering it is essential that you are over 21, have a spare room, and are able to drive with access to a car.

At Team Fostering we take pride in recruiting foster carers from all walks of life. Our foster carers have different backgrounds and life experiences and there is no ‘model foster carer’.

We welcome all enquiries and do not discriminate against anyone because of their age, race, gender or sexual orientation. There are basic criteria that foster carers should meet (click here for further information), however we do take time to consider all circumstances, and our team are always happy to discuss eligibility concerns and solutions with those interested in joining us.

How can I apply?
If you’re interested in becoming a foster carer, you can send an enquiry to us in one of the following 3 ways:

Send an online enquiry by clicking here
Call us on 0800 292 2003 to speak to a friendly member of our team
Email us via info@teamfostering.co.uk

Source:
www.teamfostering.co.uk

During #FCF19 we are exploring all things fostering.

Who can be a foster carer?
This is one of the most frequently asked questions when it comes to fostering. The answer is simple. We welcome foster carers from many different backgrounds in terms of relationship status, ethnicity, age, sexuality and religious belief. 

You can become a foster carer regardless of whether you have had children of your own. We welcome people who have never been foster carers or who are experienced foster carers. 

Whatever your experience we will support and develop you. We always work hard to match foster carers and child very carefully.

Contact us
​If you want to find out more about becoming a Break Foster Carer in Norfolk get in touch today at fostering@break-charity.org, call 01603 670100 or download our Foster Carers' Guide. Find out who can be a Foster Carer here.

Meet Eddie's foster parents - Case Study

My partner and I have been caring for 10-year-old Eddie since 2018. He has really started to grow in confidence and is even learning to make friends since he has been part of our family. 

Eddie was confused and anxious when he came to us. He had been through terrible trauma, which shaped his behaviour. It was hard for us to see him become upset and angry and hard to be the target of his angry behaviour. But things are getting better now as he settles in.

Eddie’s sense of humour is coming to the fore and we have great fun together. We enjoy taking him out on his bike, to the beach, trampolining... Recently we all went on holiday to Dorset. He is doing better at school and loves his maths, reading and writing. He is more able to talk about his feelings and to cope with life’s ups and downs.

We take Eddie to see his parents, brother and sister and the rest of his family, who live a long way away. We feel glad that his mum and dad are happy with the care we are giving their son.

The Break Fostering service has been very supportive. It’s extremely useful getting together with other foster carers to share experiences at the monthly support groups. We have a supervising social worker who meets with us regularly and there is training and support covering all aspects of caring for children in a therapeutic way. We find all of this invaluable and we have learnt a lot about parenting children who have experienced trauma.

We are really glad we decided to foster and we would recommend anyone applying to Break to be a foster carer. The assessment process is very thorough and we cannot tell you that caring for a child is all plain sailing, because it can be tough and it’s important people know this. But we can tell you that the personal rewards are great, and when we see Eddie’s progress it’s a wonderful feeling. 

We feel Eddie is beginning to understand our commitment to his learning and growth. He has begun to talk about the future, planning for his secondary school and, most importantly, he is enjoying being a young boy again.​

Could you become a foster carer?
If you care about children and believe you can help us to change young lives. Fostering can play a huge part in transforming a young life, helping them to become happy, secure and successful young people.

Foster carers need to be able to value young people and to be able to commit to care for young people with sometimes complex needs and all this entails. We want foster carers who are aware there will be challenging times, and also rewarding ones, and who are able to work with the child at the child’s own pace and, above all, be able to provide a loving and caring home.

Find out more today by emailing fostering@break-charity.org call 01603 670100 or download our Foster Carers' Guide.

Source:
http://break-charity.org

​Mick has been a foster carer for the Foster Care Co-operative since 2007.  In 2002, he and his partner Sian joined their families together – which in turn guided them towards caring for others.  In 2017, he wrote his first book – ‘Are Difficult Children difficult, or just different? What if we can change to help them’ – on the subject of adapting to the needs of children in care.  We caught up with Mick to find out what inspired him to take time out to write it.

What inspired you to write the book?

My reason for deciding to write a strategic publication on how adults working with or caring for children can change their approach to suit the differing learning and progression needs of a child in their charge, came mainly from a passion for building strategies for young people ‘outside the norm/realms’ of traditional teaching and parenting styles, which clearly cannot work for all.

Who is the book aimed at?

‘Are Difficult Children difficult, or just different? What if we can change to help them’ is aimed at any adult involved with young people who do not present or behave in line with the majority of expected behaviours and traits in children aged between 5 and 16 years old. They are tried and tested example strategies that have evolved in focused programmes for a variety of young people – displaying what could be described by many as ‘difficult’ behaviour traits.  The focus is on the adult changing their approach, in lieu of attempting to change the brain pattern of the ‘difficult child’ – bringing them in line with more traditional methods that quite simply do not work in the long term.

Did you base the advice/guidance purely on your own experiences as a foster carer, or did you draw from other sources?

Having ‘looked after’ the 8 children in our long-term care as a full time Foster Carer (in addition to our five birth children – 13 in all!), I have enjoyed the reparation strategies involving areas of concern, including serious neglect, disorganised/insecure attachment disorders, sexual abuse, domestic violence and special educational needs. I have, over the years, extended my learning to become better qualified in understanding the traits and behaviours that are caused by Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), Autism, Asperger’s and the Human Brain. I have been directly involved in the organisation of conferences for Foster Carers, Adopters, Care and Medical Professionals, and have presented workshops on FASD, Complex Educational Needs & introducing strategies for children with behavioural issues. I regularly present the three day ‘Skills to Foster’ programme that is a mandatory part of the selection process for prospective Foster Carers and my role is very much to allow them to gain the ‘reality’, whilst they work alongside qualified Social Workers learning the legislation and logistics of the task.

Two of our birth children (the oldest girl & youngest boy) along with two of our Fostered children have forged their pathways to attend University, whilst we have adult children currently serving as a Police Intelligence Officer, a Lance Corporal Paratrooper in the British Army (II Para), an RGN Nurse in ICU, a part-time removals man, a Call Centre operative and the Director of a Construction Company. We currently look after three children aged 12, 13 & 17 on behalf of their parents and the Local Authority, whom are all in Long Term Permanent placements here that commenced, 7 (the two youngest siblings) and 9 years ago respectively – all have a very different background story with extremely differing needs, behaviours, complexities, diagnoses and educational capabilities. As a running total I have parented children across approximately 120 years – I hope I do not look that old!

I have also worked closely with at least four Head Teachers, three Virtual Head teachers, several Special Educational Needs Coordinators (SENCOs), numerous medical professionals and a large number of Parents, Carers and Adopters.  They have consistently but independently voiced ‘you should write a book, Mick’, so I decided to finally take their advice!

Was any of the subject matter hard to write, emotionally?

It was obviously a very emotional process writing the book, but also extremely therapeutic and a great reminder of the successes and positive outcomes that all of the children continue to enjoy as children and well into their adulthood, still making mistakes, but able to review, assess and build on each experience.

How long did it take you to write it?

I penned the book across 6 months in 2017, approached Publishers in early 2018 and signed the Publishing agreement in May 2018.

‘Are Difficult Children difficult, or just different? What if we can change to help them’ is available to order now here, or from all good book stores.

Source:
www.fostercarecooperative.co.uk

​Project Linus delivered a lovely selection of quilts to our Essex office for our young people in foster care recently.

We had previously received quilts in our Hereford office where they have brought a great deal of comfort to our young people, so we are immensely grateful to the local Project Linus team for supporting us in Essex.

Davina Cox, co-founder of Young People at Heart, said that our foster carers in Hereford had told her how much the young people of all ages appreciated the hand-made quilts, so she was delighted that Ellie, one of our Social Work Assistants who supports our foster carers and young people in Essex, had contacted Project Linus and the quilts could now be delivered to our Essex foster children as well.

The photo shows Sarah, our local Admin Manager and Letesha, one of our Supervising Social Workers, both based in our Essex office, sorting through the wonderful selection of quilts

Source:
www.youngpeopleatheart.org

‘The difference Team Fostering made’

An account from Thomas, who was looked after by Team Fostering carers in the North East, in celebration of The Fostering Network's Foster Care Fortnight 2019 theme: #changeafuture

When I was placed with Helen and Neil, my carers at Team Fostering, they welcomed me straight away as part of their family.

While I was with them, the agency became like my extended family. The other foster carers and social workers were like my aunts and uncles, and the other kids were like friends, a little bit like cousins. We would see each other at Team’s parties and activities.

While I was in their care, Helen and Neil got me my first ever passport. With them I was able to visit Italy and Paris. They even put up with my obsession with Lady Gaga!

With them, I discovered who I am and what I can achieve. They really helped me when I came out, and they really helped me to dream big.

Helen and Neil pushed me to work hard at college and it was so worth it.

A holiday in Hong Kong cemented my dream of studying in Shanghai. Without their support it wouldn’t have been possible, but I made it to China!

I ended up taking a year of studying in Shanghai after I left Helen and Neil’s care. It was amazing and even though I was no longer placed with them, I knew Helen and Neil were always at the end of the phone. If I needed help I only had to ask.

I’m now living in Wales, completing a Chinese Studies degree. I still ring Helen and Neil once a week.

They always said I was part of their family, even after I left their care as foster carers, and they will always be part of mine. I feel lucky to have them.

Source:
www.teamfostering.co.uk

For Foster Care Fortnight 2019, St Christopher’s wants to celebrate the amazing foster families who transform the lives of children every single day. Sharon is just one of these foster carers – here she tells her story of fostering three sisters.

Hello, I’m Sharon I have been asked to talk about my experience of therapeutic parenting as a foster carer. My parents were foster carers when I was younger and my mum looked after 65 children in total before she retired, so I wanted to give it a go too.

A few years ago three girls came to move in with me. At first they was so much sibling rivalry and jealousy, but at the same time they were scared to be separated. They also showed signs of hyper-vigilance, which is when you are constantly looking around you to check for danger that is reminiscent of something you have experienced before.

Fostering staff at Together Trust, a Cheadle-based charity, were delighted to receive a ‘Good’ rating following a recent Ofsted inspection.

The charity, which supports young people, adults and families across the North West, has been running its fostering service for over 20 years. They also provide care for children and young people through their residential homes and short-break services.

The Ofsted report heaped praised on the charity’s foster carers, emphasising the positive relationships they have built with the children in their care. It stated: ‘Children live in nurturing, safe and stimulating homes. They enjoy loving, reliable and trusting relationships with their foster carers. They develop a strong sense of belonging and very much feel part of the family.’

‘A child said, “My foster carers have been amazing and given me the childhood I never had. They are kind, caring and treat me like their actual son, as part of their family.”’ Ofsted report

The report went on to commend the charity’s management team for their devotion to ensuring the best outcomes for both foster carers and the children in their care. It noted the ‘inspirational’ and ‘forward-thinking’ approach of the service’s team, as well as their ‘ambitions and high aspirations for every child’.

Despite the positive outcome of the inspection, Ian Uttridge, Head of Children and Family Services at Together Trust, spoke of some of the challenges facing the charity. 

Ian said: “Together Trust’s fostering service receives hundreds of referrals a month for children and young people in need of stable homes. But unfortunately the number of people coming forward as potential foster carers continues to drop. 

“We want people from all walks of life to consider becoming foster carers, if not now then in the future. There are lots of myths and misconceptions around fostering, what’s involved and the young people in foster care. We’d urge anyone who is passionate about making a difference to children and young people’s lives to get in touch with our team for an informal chat.”

You can find out more about fostering with Together Trust by visiting https://www.togethertrust.org.uk/be-foster-carer
​