This week, I [Debbie - Social Work Assistant] experienced the absolute privilege, of attending a garden party at Clarence House, hosted by Her Majesty The Queen. This was to celebrate 30 years of the National Literacy Trust, which Her Majesty is Patron of. I was chosen as a thank you, for my hard work to promote literacy for the children and young people we work with.

Just over 18 months ago, Young People at Heart, began an enjoyable and fulfilling working relationship, with the National Literacy Trust. I took the lead on this and became a Literacy Champion within the trust. This role entailed me taking on a volunteering role, at the National Literacy Trust and making sure all our children and young people, receive regular books for them to keep and enjoy reading. Once the relationship had been fully established in Doncaster, I then helped our social work assistants, from our other offices, to reach out to the Literacy Hubs in their areas and help them build a relationship the same as what we have in Yorkshire. This meant that every child and young person, within the Young People at Heart family, were all able to access beautiful books to read and share. This really has been fantastic for Young People at Heart, to do exactly ‘what it says on the tin’, so to speak and have our young people at heart!

Click here to read the full article

Here at Young People at Heart, it doesn’t matter if you are a single carer or a couple, the role of any foster carer is just as important, to provide a stable and loving home for a young person.


This week, we wanted to share a lovely story, of how the relationship between one of our male foster carers, and a teenage boy in their care, has blossomed over the past few months.

Last year, Lewis went to live with two of our experienced foster carers, Steven, and Angela. They have two birth children, who live in the family home too.

The whole family were extremely excited, to have someone else joining the family. The bond between Lewis and Steven developed quite quickly, and they soon became like two peas in a pod, enjoying spending their free time together visiting the horses, walking the dogs, going on long bike rides and Lewis even enjoys washing the cars with Steven’s help.

The minute Steven arrives home from work, Lewis is waiting to greet him, and they catch up about how each other’s days have been. Steven listens to Lewis and offers support and advice, when needed. If there are any challenging or sensitive conversations to be had, Steven approaches these, using lots of playfulness, but remains firm in his approach, when it’s been necessary. Lewis responds well to the playfulness and enjoys the banter between him and Steven.

As with all teenagers, personal hygiene, untidy bedrooms, and the need for screen time are sometimes an issue, but with gentle, playful reminders from Steven, Lewis is respectful, follows the family rules and doesn’t cross boundaries. Lewis enjoys sitting with Steven on an evening after dinner, so they can do his Math’s homework together. He loves how Steven explains the work to him and how patient he is if Lewis is finding the work tricky.

Recently, for an English essay in school, Lewis had to write about someone who inspires him and who he sees as a good role model. Lewis chose to write about Steven. He wrote in detail, about how they spend their time together and why Steven inspires him. “He teaches me stuff and he does the job that I want to do.” Angela shared this with Steven, which made him feel rightfully proud of the fantastic work he has done, to earn Lewis’s trust and develop the close bond and relationship they have.

Source:
www.youngpeopleatheart.org/

Have you considered the possibility of fostering a sibling group? It can be a journey marked by both trials and triumphs. While it’s true that fostering siblings comes with its share of complexities, managing different personalities, addressing past traumas, and balancing individual needs, it’s also a profoundly rewarding experience. Witnessing the resilience and bond between siblings as they navigate life’s challenges together is nothing short of inspiring.

One of our foster carers shared her experience of fostering two brothers for 3 years.

“My journey as a foster carer for two brothers has been an eye-opening experience filled with highs and lows. Every day brings new lessons. From the very beginning, I knew fostering siblings would come with its unique set of hurdles. Helping them adjust to a new environment, addressing any past traumas, whilst managing their often-difficult relationship with each other, has been a delicate balancing act. Yet, seeing their resilience during what has been a difficult time, has been nothing short of inspiring.

When they first arrived, the eldest had very little confidence in himself, he would hold his head low, often hiding himself with his hood up, and rarely removed his jacket. It almost felt that he was worn down, wanting to hide himself from everyone, avoiding them seeing him.  Slowly but surely, his confidence grew.  He went from not believing in himself, not even wanting to attempt to apply for Head Boy in school, to applying and being nominated.  This was a proud moment for him, and for me. 

The youngest of the two struggled too.  He had an insecure attachment, often seeking attachment wherever possible.  This often resulted in unwanted behaviours, sometimes aimed at me, or his brother.  With the support of Young People at Heart, I learnt more about therapeutic parenting approaches, in particular the PACE approach developed by Dan Hughes, and this enabled me to find ways to help him.  I was able to find ways of connecting, before correcting, and providing lots of empathy and curiosity to every situation.  I had to nurture him as if he was a toddler again to help fill the gaps he had missed in early life.

Sure, there were times when disagreements arose, and moods flared, but it’s all part of the journey. Guiding them through these challenges and teaching them how to communicate and compromise has been both challenging and fulfilling. But amidst the tough times are countless moments of joy and connection. Whether it’s celebrating birthdays, cheering them on at sports events, or simply sharing stories around the dinner table, these moments remind me why I became a foster carer in the first place.

Another challenge I faced was navigating family time with birth parents.  Initially, I had attempted to gain a healthy, positive, and professional relationship with both birth parents, however, over time, it proved difficult.  Often birth parents can understandably struggle with the care systems, they can feel decisions are unjust and struggle with the loss of the care of their children.  At times, the frustration was unfortunately aimed at me. This was a difficult time; I wanted to maintain a good relationship as I knew this would be of most benefit to the boys.  However, I eventually had to accept that this was not always going to be possible.

Family time can often be a difficult time for the young people too. They are left with overwhelming feelings of guilt, and divided loyalties, not wanting to hurt their parent, nor their foster carer.  It takes lots of reassurance and understanding to help them through.

After 3 years, I have recently had the amazing experience of supporting and transitioning the boys back to their birth dad.  Having been able to maintain a positive relationship with dad, and with the Local Authorities input, the decision was made for a careful transition plan for them to reunited.  This was a special moment for everyone, me, the boys, and for dad.  It makes my heart burst to know that the boys will live a life with their family.  I have continued to keep in touch with the boys and their dad, offering him advice and support to ensure that reunification continues to be positive.  I know caring for them can be challenging at times and recognise the importance of having invaluable support from people around you.

Being there for these siblings through their ups and downs has been a privilege. Providing them with stability, love, and a sense of belonging has been my greatest reward. And as I watch them grow and flourish, I’m reminded that family isn’t just about blood, it’s about the bonds we create and the love we share.

So, to anyone considering fostering siblings, know that while it may not always be easy, the impact you’ll make on their lives is immeasurable. Through the challenges and triumphs, you’ll be helping to shape and create a brighter future.”

Source: 
www.youngpeopleatheart.org

Transferring from the local authority, we had heard many horror stories about leaving a local authority and going to a private fostering agency. However, we were desperate for a fresh start with an agency where we would feel supported and cared about after experiencing some challenging times with the local authority. The reason we chose to transfer over to Young People at Heart was simply down to the response and information we received during our initial visit with them. We had spoken with various agencies, but we didn’t get a “feel” from them like we did with Young People at Heart. When we had our initial visit at home, they made us feel empowered, worthwhile and proud to be foster carers which we had somewhat lost in recent times. We knew immediately that Young People at Heart were who we wanted to be a part of.

Despite having our young person already living with us, the assessment process was simple, flexible and relaxed. We always felt supported and felt able to ask questions along the way. There were a few occasions where we had to cancel and change our assessment sessions due to circumstances with our young person. Young People At Heart were understanding and supportive of this and offered us help and advice at these times.

Once we had completed our assessments, we went to panel. Although we had been to panel with the local authority, it is still a nerve-wracking experience. However, the Young People at Heart panel made us feel relaxed and very welcome to be there. They showed a great interest in us as foster carers and as people and we were met with praise and heart-warming comments about the progress our young person had made since being with us. 

Since transferring to Young People at Heart, our fostering journey has been transformed. As foster carers, we have become part of a family. We have gained friends who have become a valuable part of our support network. We had never connected with other foster carers and this was a new experience for us. We regularly attend the coffee mornings and catch up with both staff and other foster carers of Young People at Heart. The difference we have also experienced is a different world of support from our supervising social worker. We know that we can call or text and will get a response very quickly. We have had a totally different experience of being supported and feeling as though we can rely on Young People at Heart supervising social workers to help us achieve things for our young person and successfully advocate for them. 

For our young person, they have seen a totally different view of being in foster care. Up until transferring to Young People at Heart, our young person only saw being in foster care as a negative thing. They have now had access to many opportunities and experiences they never thought they would do. They enjoy seeing the Young People at Heart family and have made lots of new friends they see regularly thanks to the social work assistants. 

In September, we all attended the Young People at Heart birthday event. Our young person wrote their review for Young People at Heart and on the part where they were to write what they had enjoyed, our young person wrote “making new friends”. They have since asked for play dates with the young people they met. 

In December, we attended the pantomime with Young People at Heart. Our young person stated afterwards, “you didn’t say we were going to the pantomime with all of those guys. Can we come again next year? And can you ask when we can all meet up again please?” For our young person, this is something we never thought we’d hear and we know they feel part of a family just as much as we do.

To show you exactly the impact Young People at Heart have had on us, we attended our young persons looked after review. Our young person was asked to scale his life on a scale of 1 to 10. Our young person, for the first time in 3 years, rated his life at a 10. Our young person would not have been able to rate his life at a 10 without the help, support, love and experiences that Young People at Heart have provided us with. We thank them from the bottom of our hearts. 

Source:
www.youngpeopleatheart.org/

​In March 2019 I started working here at Young People at Heart as a Social Work Assistant. Before this role, I had worked in many different jobs and been unhappy in most of them. I really didn’t know what I wanted to do or where I fit in. I had always been interested in the world of social work, and wanted a career that meant something to me, but I thought I had left it too late and couldn’t imagine going back to education after so many years of working.

One day I just decided to go for it and I signed myself up to the Open University and enrolled in the Social Work degree course. I remember thinking how far off in the distance qualifying seemed and I wasn’t entirely sure I’d even make it the whole way through!

​Just a couple of months later, before my course had even started, I saw the job advertisement at Young People at Heart for the Social Work Assistant role and genuinely couldn’t believe my luck. I was extremely keen, I applied for the job immediately and even rang Gary to let him know how interested I was in the role! I came in for a couple of interviews and was over the moon when I was offered the job.

It took a little while for me to get comfortable in my new career. As someone who has not yet had children and has never worked with children and young people before, there were so many things I just didn’t know. I had no idea about car seats or routines and often had to ask for help and guidance! Luckily for me I had a supportive team around me who were happy to help and teach me along the way.

​I have learned so much over the years just from working with, and observing, the people who work here and I am extremely grateful to them for that. I was also learning a lot from my social work course which I was completing alongside working every day. It was challenging, and I found it difficult sometimes to study after a day at work, but I also loved ticking off the milestones as I completed each stage of the course.

As part of the social work course, I had to complete two placements: the first for 70 days and the second for 100. I completed both of my placements within Young People at Heart, supported organisation-wide by many members of staff. It was during these placements that I really got an insight into the social work role and what it would be like when I finally qualified! I really appreciated the experience I gained from doing these placements and felt lucky to work with people who have so much experience and who are so good at what they do! I often found myself thinking ‘I hope I can do that one day!’

As time went on my role started to change at work, and I took on some social work duties. This was amazing for my learning and really helped to prepare me for the transition into a social work role. The last year of my degree was really hard work, but I was incredibly fortunate to have been supported by Young People at Heart with extra time to complete my studies and advice along the way when I needed it.

I finally completed my degree and received my results on 17th July 2023. It was a great day and I was so happy (and relieved that it was over!) I attended my graduation ceremony on 17th November, surrounded by family and friends who all put up with me and my mood swings throughout my studying! It was an amazing day and I felt truly proud of myself and all that I had accomplished.

Now that I have qualified and received my Social Work England registration, I am starting my social work career as a Supervising Social Worker here at Young People at Heart. I still have a lot to learn along the way but this feels like a full circle moment, and I am just grateful that 25 year old me with no social work experience was given a chance! The practical experience I gained taught me way more than a text book ever could, and I look forward to continuing to learn throughout my career.

Source:
hwww.youngpeopleatheart.org

The relationship between siblings is one of the most important relationships within a child’s life, and we work hard to support and promote this relationship where possible.

​Recently we had a young person join us, following a separation of his siblings and entering care for the first time. A few months later, we were asked to see if it was possible for the young person’s sibling to move in with our foster carer and enable the two children to live together.

Following a visit, an overnight stay and time spent within the household, we were able to assess if this was a positive and suitable option, whilst considering the needs of everyone in the household. It is with a very happy heart, that following this we were able to support this request and following a successful transition that the two siblings are now able to live together.

Promoting this relationship is key and statistically will provide a higher chance of better outcomes for both children. They will be able to spend their childhood together, enjoy life experiences and build memories in partnership with one another.

Source:
www.youngpeopleatheart.org

One of our social work assistants started working with a young person weekly to focus on positive relationships, feelings, and online safety.

We started the Real Love Rocks project in April, this project focuses on feelings, bodies, brains, positive and healthy relationships, and online safety. At this time, the young person did not want to engage with the SWA, and his future aspirations were to sit in his bedroom and play the PlayStation forever. This young person also struggled to talk about his feelings, he had struggled with hygiene and having positive relationships at home and school.

During this time, the SWA spent time building a relationship with the young person alongside working on the Real Love Rocks project, she spent time trying to understand the reasons behind the young person’s anxieties about his future.

Fast forward 6 months of weekly support, the young person has completed all his practice mock exams at school, which is a huge achievement as 6 months ago he was spending a lot of time outside of lessons and his relationships with his carers and teachers has improved.

On top of that, he recently attended an engineering apprenticeship evening where he has displayed interest in doing an engineering apprenticeship after finishing his GCSEs. One of the biggest struggles for this young person was talking to adults about his future, he used to become very anxious.

However, at the engineering apprenticeship evening, this young person spoke openly to the recruiters, spoke about his interests and what he is currently doing for GCSEs. After the event, the young person felt really proud of himself and said he feels positive about his future.
​
Source:
www.youngpeopleatheart.org/

We have been Foster Carers for nearly 7 years and fostered children of many different ages. We have cared for two babies who have gone on to be adopted, and both experiences were very different.

When the outcome of court is that children are going to be adopted, you have the hardest part in saying goodbye but also the joy of seeing children move on with their new parents. Each time, it will cross your mind about adopting them yourselves which you can be asked to do by their social worker. But for us, our age played a big part in our decision not to, and also knowing there are so many people looking to adopt who cannot have children of their own.

We had Belle from 7 days old to 22 months old, she was so tiny. Zoe, we cared for from 13 months old, for around eight months.  During the time we cared for them, we saw them meet many milestones and worked alongside birth parents.

Once adopters have been identified, you spend time working with them and the child during introductions, where the child and adopters are in a period of transition.  This is an intensive time where we help the adopters and children get to know each other and become a family, spending time at their home and the adopters at yours.

When the adopters do their training, they are told how important (especially at the start) it is for them to keep in touch with the foster carers even if it’s just a video call to help the children with transition and developing new attachments.  When your young people leave to go to their adoptive homes, they take a piece of your heart with them, but when you see how happy they are with their new parents, you see it is the right thing and how special it is.

Our first adoption with Zoe went amazingly well, they were all so happy and we have kept in touch with her new family via photos, videos etc. Zoe is now 6 and we meet up every year, and send birthday and Xmas presents and they send us videos of her opening them, she knows she used to live with us and we have the best time when we see her.

When Belle left us, our experience was different, ongoing contact with Belle was planned once a year and occasional photos.  However, the adopters decided they did not want ongoing contact shortly after she left which broke our hearts, particularly after such a different experience the first time. We were lucky that we did get to see her once since she left but we will treasure the memories and time we spent with her and always remember the positive impact we had on her life.

We have learnt that endings for every child can be very different, and each situation is unique and may not always be the ending you would like it to be. However, we continue to enjoy fostering babies, watching them grow and develop but know they will leave to live with family or adoptive parents, but every day spent with any child you foster they are part of your family no matter how long they stay with you.

Source:
www.youngpeopleatheart.org/

This feel-good Friday we are celebrating National Care leavers Week. An 18th Birthday is a celebration for most teenagers, but it can be a worrying time for the 10,000 young people in the UK leaving care who suddenly become independent.

Before they can be independent, we need to give children in care opportunities to be interdependent. At some point, usually during their teenage years, children in care will hear discussions of what happens after care. Initially, it may be when another young person they know or an older child, has moved to independence or talked about by their social workers.

Then, when they are around 15 years old, they are told they must start preparing for independence. They must learn ‘life skills’ because ‘there won’t be anyone there to do it for you when you move to independence’. But doing that is sending out a message ‘You are on your own.’ 

Therefore, many young people seem to reject much of the care offered to them, never fully trusting it, preferring instead to trust the relationships and associates we often consider unhealthy or harmful. They rush towards being independent too, insisting they are ready, saying they should be allowed to go now.

We need to change our entire thinking about how young people in care move into adulthood and the messages we are giving them from an early age. They need to have a sense that some key relationships are for keeps.

We need to let them know that, no, they will not be on their own and , they do not have to be independent. Instead, they can be interdependent.

We start this work a lot earlier with our young people and foster carers and allow our children to seek support from their carers and support workers to ensure they know they are not alone and will continue to be supported into their life journey. So they have a sense of belonging and understanding that they can ask for help and be supported as they leave care and beyond. 

We do this through developing an independence plan with the young person and working through key ‘life skills’ such as:

• Budgeting, managing money and savings
• What food to buy, how to cook it and store it
• How to use a washing machine and ironing
• Housework and cleaning
• DIY such as putting wardrobes up, putting plugs on and decorating  
• Thinking about the future, what they want to do for employment, further training, and how this can be achieved.
• Accessing advice and support from others
• Leisure activities and other interests.
• Getting to and from places
• Keeping safe
• Online safety
• Relationships

It is key to be supported with these skills to develop self-esteem and resilience to manage living independently in the future.  Here at Young People at Heart we are implementing a pre-teen drop in next year, talking about independence to our carers and children to change their thinking at a much earlier stage. 

Source:
www.youngpeopleatheart.org/national-care-leavers-week/

Kyle came to our foster carers having previously experienced a lot of placement moves along with having a high level of trauma-based behaviours.

​ Through the commitment and resilience of his foster carers, Kyle has now been with his foster family for seven years, is able to manage his behaviours, self-regulate and has a sense of belonging in the family.

Kyle bravely engaged in life story work with our Social Work Assistants that gave him understanding of the reasons of why he came into care. He was able to demonstrate reflection, understanding and maturity through this process. Kyle continually displays how far he has come as he is able to express empathy, patience and understanding with other young people who have lived with his foster family.

The understanding and safety Kyle has experienced with his foster family has consequently supported him to engage and achieve in school. He previously had very poor school attendance, escaping onto the roof or climbing the fences. But through hard work and dedication has been able to achieve academically and now attends a mainstream college whilst being a keen boxer and is committed to his fitness and training.

The growth of both Kyle and the foster family has been remarkable to watch but through the continuous struggles, efforts and devotion it is safe to say that the Kyle that came to us 7 years ago is unrecognisable to the one we see today. Through the trauma of many moves we are delighted that we can be his last placement with Kyle wishing to remain with his foster family after he is 18.

Source:
www.youngpeopleatheart.org/