Member News: Community Foster Care - Being a Child in Foster Care - Casey’s Story

It was August 2021 when I received an email from Community Family Care manager, Sasha, entitled ‘The Amazing Casey’.

It was my first introduction to the, then, 18 year old who would go on to bravely share her story on film with myself and her Support Worker, Gemma.

Now, Casey would never identify with words like ‘amazing’ or ‘brave’ - in her eyes, it is simply her life story, but it has become clearer to me over the years, that Casey cannot yet see herself as all those who meet her and hear her words do. Writing in 2023, Casey is now 19 - due to turn 20 this summer - the level of self-awareness, how much processing of her trauma she has already done and the kindness she shows towards other children and young people in care, is honestly astounding.

Inner work that many adults either come to much later in life or never at all, Casey has already been doing for years. One day, I hope, Casey will be able to recognise these huge achievements for what they are - the confidence for an 18 year old to meet a stranger for coffee and lay her whole, harrowing, life story on the table on our first meeting, the strength it takes to recount traumatic events over and over, the diplomacy and grace she affords those responsible for what happened to her - it blows my mind but enough about my experience of The Amazing Casey, read on and watch Casey’s film above (and keep an eye out on the BBC…)

                    Author: Hannah Reynolds, Marketing & Recruitment Officer

Fostering stories from the perspective of looked after children are few and far between, largely because of safeguarding but also due to the stigma many children in care feel at being fostered in the first place. Children in foster care are protected by extremely stringent safeguarding practices, for a multitude of reasons, and so sharing their stories is virtually impossible. Of course, this is for (many) very good reasons - namely, safeguarding these vulnerable children and young people, which comes above all else.

However, every now and then an adult emerges out of the care system with a need to share their experience. Often, this comes years, if not decades, later on in life. Perhaps because this allows the time often needed to process trauma, to feel a distance from any stigma or discrimination they faced or simply with the experience of aging and ‘coming into oneself’. We at Community Foster Care feel truly honoured to have been entrusted with sharing the story of one of our young people who lived in placement with CFC foster carers from the age of 13-18. Let us introduce, Casey.

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Casey had her first interactions with Social Services very early in life. She found herself in and out of different foster homes before entering foster care permanently at the age of just four years old. With difficult circumstances in her birth family, followed by this frequent relocation, Casey’s childhood had extremely disruptive and traumatic beginnings. 

When her local authority placed her with a single foster parent under a Special Guardianship, she believed she had found her forever home. For a time, she felt safe and somewhat settled, although, on reflection Casey identifies that her upbringing there was very strict and not what a ‘normal’ childhood should look like. Having only ever known turbulence and change, Casey thought her life was ‘normal’ and didn’t question any of the rules she had to abide by.

When Casey’s foster carer met a new man, they both welcomed him in to the home. Casey describes those early days as a ‘honeymoon' period’ but sadly, this was all to change. What followed was years of horrendous abuse, which she shares in her film.

At the age of 13, Casey escaped the hands of her abuser and, on arriving at school, reported to teachers what had been going on at home. From that moment, Casey had taken the first of many brave leaps to protect herself and survive. Police, hospital, social services and more were to suddenly become a huge part of Casey’s young life.

Casey re-entered the care system and after a few more fostering placements, she finally came to settle with her Community Foster Care carers, where she would stay for the next five years until she turned 18, when she chose to move on to independence.

In that five years, Casey jumped into life with Community Foster Care, taking every opportunity that came her way, from residential trips and activities to getting involved with foster carer training. As a young adult, Casey has become a keen advocate for looked after children. Her motivation to share her story comes from a place of wanting to offer hope and support to others who may have or be experiencing similar to what she went through. Having been the child whose possessions have been in a bin bag, she was keen to create welcome boxes for foster children coming into placement with CFC. Now, she is keen to explore everything media has to offer in order to raise awareness of the reality of children in foster care. So when the call that a BBC commissioned film looking at teenagers leaving care came in, we knew exactly who would jump at the opportunity! (More on this to follow…)

We are so proud of Casey and so grateful that she actively chooses to be so involved with us - a fostering agency - when she would be fully within her rights to leave ‘the system’ as far behind her as she could. But that’s not Casey, she is a woman on a mission to make positive change and we will continue to do all we can to support her in that journey and to push for better for all children and young people in foster care.

If you believe you could offer a safe, loving and understanding home for children and young people like Casey, please do get in touch. 

Source:
www.communityfostercare.co.uk/news